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How snuff films changed everything

General StuffPosted by Nicole Mon, April 16, 2018 21:18:05

[Defense of my Sexuality, the 7 Churches, Revelation 12-14]

It was interesting. It wasn't done in any state of arousal, but ... a certainty of satisfaction. I mean - that 'certainty of satisfaction' thing is a bit ... more than it would seem. Complicated. I so was simply curious at first and then left excited. Well, I found stuff I could check out and thus ended up spending some time following that Lust ... .

Lets for simplicity and accessibility name ... The Vomit Gore Trilogy, a Serbian Film, Frontier(s) and The Girl Next Door.

I browsed through them; And I don't think I'll ever watch any of it again.

Its like I had something inside me that realized that these things were there and I just had to see them; And for that time there was some vacuum - a hole that wanted to get plugged. I don't think that those movies are all there is. I do however think that these movies help to replace that which we do not know of. I mean - once some Law Enforcement unit finds something that isn't really ... easy to stomach they'd hide it and we won't ever really get a clear impression of what is going on. But that is in and of itself a weird ... thing.
On the one end sure might some look for some kind of satisfaction or entertainment - but otherwise we're stranded with fantasies - and none of us has learned to handle that properly. We don't know what to do or how to react either, generally, socially speaking.

So if we hear about ... the synopsis to The Girl Next Door, which is based on a true story, ... so ... a Mother locks a Girl in her basement and some boys of end up torturing and raping her - we can only imagine. But the spectrum of torture and rape is ... broad - and some of us might wonder if ... its as horrible as we're supposed to believe. Its not done intentionally!

But sure - you don't watch snuff films to get aroused - its there to be as a sucker punch.
Maybe a bandage.


Do I still feel the same tendencies within me? Well, sure! But ... well, for me right now the "what I am" has sortof aligned next to a "what I want to be" - and the two don't seem to be in conflict while still contradicting each other. Its a tiny shift overall, but still something of a balance.

Now, the actual topic here is 'The 7 Churches' in the revelation. Generally, you should read it for yourself and maybe try to understand how the individual content might apply to you or other groups you can identify.

There are two things that stood out to me this time I've read through it: 1) The Nicolaitanes and 2) the phrase: "He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches". So, emphasis on "what the Spirit saith unto the churches".

It would so appear as something that while being addressed at 7 different entities is still addressed at everyone.

Anyhow. I would first go to say that 'Nicolaitanes' ... thats about me. About ... what values I hold. What 'difference' I make ... by my identity ... to the all-over "Gospel thing". So ...

- Ephesus -
This is about a group of opinion, I'd say - that has once been regarded highly but has since fallen into disgrace. Once God comes, and they don't repent, God will remove its Lights from its places. So, that to me means that they further are in a position that is still somewhat strong. Seemingly integral to our society/culture - something we would see as, ... 'guaranteed to persist' ... so that God makes sure that we get this memo which says: "Nope!" to that.
So, Nicolaitanes - or their doing - is stuff God dislikes too. I'm sure this is all about me. Its ... to say something along the lines of "God is SJW friendly". While I were so representative for the Atheistic/Rational mindset the 'general flow' of idea were that we're to be an Anti-SJW culture. And we can also thereby leave it at 'Anti'-SJW because the general gist is that Anti-SJW take stance 'against' 'SOCIAL JUSTICE' ... when however inappropriate. So, facts over feelings.

So, is this against SJWs?
I initially thought something about Buddhism - because so, this whole thing is addressed to the "Churches of Asia". ... We'll have to run this a few times I think.

- Smyrna -

This is one of the few Churches that deals with "Fake Jews" a.k.a. "the Synagogue of Satan", a group that is in peril - frowned upon by these - and yet they are rich. Further, apparently they have it as rough as getting thrown into prison and some even have to face death. Where on earth is this still the case? Palestine? Well, I'm not so sure. Could be that Islam isn't regarded as one thing here. But ... it also makes sense to believe to not understand 'Jew' as 'literal' Jews here.
I would argue that this is about all the freedom fighters in the Muslim world. Those that stand up against the Muslim 'dictatorship' - those that step in for womens and gay rights.

- Pergamon -

This is now a bit fascinating. It further seems to add weight to my interpretation of who those Nicolaitanes are. So, it begins by specifically telling them that God knows where they live - 'where the throne of Satan is'. Hollywood? Well, something along those lines. As the next bit goes: "And yet you hold on to me", "even not in the days where Antipas, my loyal witness, has been killed amongst you". That might refer to my earlier attempts ... to get the word out. (Where, I have to admit that I was stupid. Confused. Messed up. But, not for no reason. I here can also get the Hollywood side mixed up with the Videogame side. However ...).
So, some amongst this group follow the teachings of some "Bileam" and that "Bileam" teaches "Balak" and that Balak is about deceiving the "Israelites" to eat flesh dedicated to Idols and to be adulterous. So, this phrase I associate further to "the Great Whore (Babylon)" - and this isn't the last we heard of it. In essence this would be include the "blurring" of the lines between right and wrong on a religious level - so the analogy to "wine" as it gets to the Whore - where now belief once disappointed would lead to iniquity, ... 'intended sinning'. And so it continues: "And so there are people with you that stick to the teaching of the Nicolaitanes in the same manner". Which to me so is about how Bileam is similar to me - and so you can interpret my teachings in that manner.

- Thyatira -
This is a bit weird. Its easy to read the other side now into it. Videogames as a different branch of artistry, ... (Counting Hollywood and Music together; Opposed to which Videogames are rooted in Computer Science, Mathematics and Cold Logic - and from there extend into storytelling as first of all a secondary thing, even if at points still the driving factor. Here the expertise one must bring is first of all different, but ... yea, somewhere things get a bit ... blurry, and maybe thats part of what this is about.) ... but lets see.
"I know your works, your Love and your Faith, your Service and Patience, and I know, that you have done more recently than before".
This perfectly speaks of the Videogame industry - well, if we are to understand Faith not as specifically unto God but generally the good things. But it also speaks of independent media. Which kindof rolls into the SJW thing? "Yes", but "No" - as, we SJW-ism is different in that there is a huge ... crowd to it. Its a "street" movement, opposed to which independent media or media in general, ... well. Media in general then?
So, this 'however' would speak of a crowd that as of recent amped up their efforts to do good stuff. Hmm ... well.
BUT - it also permitted the "woman Jezebel" - who claims to be a prophet and teaches Gods servants to do hideous stuff.
So, is this now ... yet ... independent Media which permits SJW_ism within it. Where adultery could be a metaphor for twisting shit around and idols would be those "Gods" that decide what is and what isn't hate-speech. What may or what may not be considered insulting. Which insult is legitimately being offended vs. an outrage.
It then so goes on that God says he will put her into a bed (sick-bed), ... and here we might look back at the whole Star Wars issue and its ties into SJW_ism.
So does God go on to say that he will kill her children, ... and yea. Well, Verse 24 is ... quite a piece: "But unto you I say, and unto the rest in Thyatira, as many as have not this doctrine, and which have not known the depths of Satan, as they speak; I will put upon you none other burden." as of King James. Well, the translation I have ... puts it slightly different. I'll try to translate it ... in the sense:
"But the rest of you in Thyatira, those, that didn't follow this doctrine and haven't recognized the "Depths of Satan" as they call it, to you I say: I don't put any more burden on you".
So, is this about being in some way blind to that what is going on? Like all the self-confessing Atheists on YouTube ... that may live their lives as being lives with their ups and downs ... being well, safe in this Atheistic bubble ... ?
Or all those Game Developers that just want to make games? I mean, we hear a lot about Crunch-Time, but ... don't kid yourself! Programmers are ... Nerds! They bring it upon themselves! Why else would they keep up with it? I mean, it couldn't be that normal if there were not some ... natural affinity or whatever for it.
Jezebel and her children ... so ... can we also talk about Microtransactions for a second?
Well, sure! It ... it fits right into Jim Sterlings mouth! And when adding nuance to his voice, there is this: "and I will give unto every one of you according to your works". I mean, I have to think about Capcom and the state Street Fighter V is in. I can see why they did what they did - because ultimately ... I kindof ... did support that what they did. I strongly praised Blizzard as a good example, ... and in the end is this a bit of an experiment. Street Fighter as a franchise with a LOL/DOTA esque update Philosophy. Adding new Characters and providing balance patches. And the model is sortof fucked. So, ... the alternative were a Free to Play model and ... to a conservative mind and a rooted branch such as Street Fighter that might seem a bit scary. But, we kindof can tell which fares better.
Hmm ... yea. The one moment it makes sense, the other it does not. What can you do? Eventually though - we have to find a better way ... and that in general. What I'm perceiving here is probably more akin to earlier - regarding the recognition of the "depth of satan". If we think of EA, ... well. There's certainly a different attitude at display there than ... trying to somehow make this Street Fighter thing work. Sure, Capcom got a lot of criticism a.k.a. slaps on their fingers - and Monster Hunter Worlds would suggest that they sortof learned their lessons.
Both sides fit into the final piece of this segment, which is the "ruling with an iron scepter" thing. I mean, it sounds horrible if we're thinking from todays standards. It plays right into the Atheists narrative of what they perceive the Bible as. If it comes down to that part, they have a 'final' statement. One that is so "up there" in terms of which ideologies the Bible preaches. "Smiting the Nations".
But when that scepter is given to the independent News Anchors, Video Game Developers and Social Commentators - there is no direct reign there, while still being the substantial "broadband" of information interchange. Hmm ... II? Well, its whatever we get to see when we turn on a screen in a sense.

- Sardes -

The second time around I read this as at ... all those that are there in the comment section. Because ... the Atheist brand has been represented before, while, thats what I had originally read into it. But ... is the Atheist box checked yet?
I mean ... "According to your name you live, but you are dead". And yea, Atheists stand in the reign of life and righteousness - but ultimately have to acknowledge that their fate is nonetheless death. Finite ... death. "Wake up, and strengthen that which is left, that which was about to die". Is that the general populous? Is it so to find vigor in its spirit to ... look for a way? Well - this way ... is what? How can they go anywhere without the previous Church taking over and telling them that there even is such a way to begin with. But yea, sure, ... and yea, isn't the general populous generally speaking an Atheistic crowd? I mean, even if an individual is bound to some religion - its part of their ordinary life and their homage to God. Whatever God. Even Buddha, Shiva, ... Jesus. But their life is nonetheless Atheistic, as the true and living God isn't really a thing. The general advise is to be pragmatic, to think about the money, ... .
This spirit eventually influences those that would come out as part of the previous one - so for the Atheistic thing there - which also have to hold this to themselves.
And does this include me? I mean ... what can I do? I try! But I have the feeling that things will be just fine! I don't have to move just because of maybe accomplishing something for myself. I already move ... in an attempt to accomplish stuff.
So is the previous church basically just "Atheistic by Proxy" ... and this ... by circumstance.
Verse 3 is now however ... hmm. How shall I put it? ... Weird. That because there is a threat in there. So, its a clear statement to say that - well - you don't really have a choice there! This is the thing. Either you're in or you're out. And if you stretch it too far - you might fall off, sotospeak.
Verse 4 gets me to think about Thunderf00t. Specifically. That as throughout the not too distant past it has been brought to my attention that ... there is something special about him and a few others. There however is a pretty clear example regarding Thunderf00t. There are serious attempts be fair to Christians. So is there this interview where he went to some Municipality and was specifically interested in gay rights; While she eventually got a bit hostile. So - it is in this situation that Thunderf00t as based on his beliefs and ability to reason has been 'cleansed' sotospeak - he's redeemed by the consequences. This is the Atheistic bubble. There may be some criticism to be had - but you can't blame the man for believing in science more than in some shady figure some arbitrary dude wants to preach to him. What he as a scientist would want, or wants, is a God that he can believe in - as a scientist. Thats a matter of how his mind functions. I mean - thats how I have to see it - as I see that nobody he ever talked to was able to give him proper advise or directions. Demands however instead. "You have to believe it 'this particular way'". Why? ... I mean, just let it be. What, me? WHaaaat?
So, this one Video where he argues with that one guy and talks a whole lot about Assumptions, ... yea, that one was epic! Sure, Thunderf00t is trolling that guy, ... he enjoys it ... that this guy just doesn't seem to understand where he's at. It might be difficult to follow - but yea. Lets say Thunderf00t played along with him ... where would it end? Thunderf00t would get to the point where he would theoretically assume that God exists - but he just didn't want to give it to him for free or something.
The point is that there is a way to be an Atheist and ignorant about it, ... and a way to be an Atheist and conscious about it. Or ... fair. Or ... open. But openness shouldn't mean, ... well. I don't need to talk for them ... do I?
But still - this thing is a thing I have to write about. This thing of ... well, the context was the matter of who gets away unscathed. Like, as though some of them are standing there better than others. Like, some had a curse on them. David Pakman makes another great example. He frequently interviews believers, ... and you can't blame him for them being kindof ridiculous.
Anyway - verse 5 goes back to generalizing things ... in a sense of "anyway" ... "if you comply" (#Resistance is Futile) you're also gonna get it, ... and Jesus will have your back!

- Philadelphia -

This is now more evidently about all the "Keyboard Warriors" out there. And another light shed on SJW-ism.
As discussed previously there so is the problem of accessibility. So, this now drags the populous meaning out of the previous part - although, maybe not so much. Verse 9 so throws the Synagogue of Satan back in - "Antichristians" - that, well, have to "bend over backwards" to be recognized by the ordinary folks since it is them that they are to impress. These are those that crawl around the comment sections and hijack topics, shill for Jezebel, ... .
It goes on: "You have kept my Commandment to be steadfast" - which again is something we don't have to understand as in terms of Christendom specifically. But more so in the "the good message in movies" way.
China Uncensored would call this "the 5 cent Army".
This doesn't fully go down to the general populous as the door that is being opened would correspond to their actions as Keyboard warriors rather than to their actions as ordinary people. So, in the latter the door is opened, but it is more so about yet mustering the strength, to revive that which is dieing, to then transition into a new normality. Still this can also be applied to them of course.
In that sense, those that 'win' would be those that get to be in the church first, those that 'fight' - that actively 'support' - and so, the thing isn't a "Keyboard" Warrior thing per se, but ... I think of Appabend for instance. Although he would fit into the upper parts as well - he comes more from a background of weakness. Being basically incapable to change anything but still not giving up! "Why Mr. Anderson, why do you Persist?"

- Laodizea -

Now, ... this is generally the part where everyone who took this the "its the Church during different stages over time" way is the end-time. Thats what Christendom so actually teaches ... versus how it was totaled earlier. So, Atheists see "Reign with Iron Scepter" ... Seventh Day Adventists see "Luke Warm". And SDAs also take it the hard-core way after that. Trying desperately to avoid any kind of ... potentially "getting cold ness". Avoiding mainstream media, sticking to the Old Testament, ... that kind of stuff.
Being so stuck with the issue ... as ... Jesus put it: "You are the Salt of the Earth, what good is it without its saltiness?".
What I read into it however also concerns ... anything related to Sex-Work.
Its both in there. Any kind of belief, actually.
Or, any kind of belief that isn't really participating in the "culture war", basically.
Well - any sentiment of "doing it right" without actually trying to change anything.
Therefore Verse 18: Instead of 'playing' Right, 'do it' Right!

One general theme in here is the general "I don't really care whether you've been a believer or not" thing. So, as I get it, more so in regards of looking back and having possible regrets. On the other side is there this "He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches" thing - saying: Everyone can basically associate to every part. Some more and others less. In general there so is a split into a good side and a bad side. "The Synagogue of Satan" a.k.a. Antichristians vs. ... whatever you are.

So can we say that Laodizea is about dedication and that we should put it into things that really matter.

Regarding this defense of 'what' I am ... I want to skip to Chapter 12. The woman and the Dragon. I generally perceive myself as the woman and the dragon as the Antichristian empire. In Chapter 13 there is the first and the second beast; Where I understand the second beast to be "tricked" by the first one to so for instance appear as the first one to all Christians. I mean, Christian "Prophetic" beliefs generally take stance against the USA and Government. Thats ... just a thing they are selling.

And in a sense that quite literally. "We have truth, come join us and pay your tenth".
Its not all evil! But still ... yea, ... well.

So, in verse 5 we have talk about a son that will rule upon all Nations with an iron scepter. If we here are to think about Thyatira again, I'd say ... the thing that I'm working on, you can check it out 'here'!home

- in 'Myth of Agoraeyah' - where, ... following my draft for the story there is the point where ... it 'ends'. So, that was 2008/2009. Maybe 7? Well ... lets say 2008 for now. No, well. I "escaped" 2009 - spring/summer - becoming a Sex-Worker and stayed there until December 2013. So, thats 4 1/2 years. Not 3 1/2. ... But ... in terms of "nourishment". The thing is that I left because things got a bit ... unsustainable for me. So, after the 3 1/2 years a war happened and the dragon got thrown to the ground. That would have been ... so ... 2012 ... fall/winter. Perhaps that is to some extent about GamerGate.
So, how long this takes isn't recorded in the Bible. After he fell however, he so went after the woman. She however received wings - flew to a safe place and got nourished 1 time, 2 times and half of a time. Hmm ... I ... am/feel safe. Thats for sure. I don't know however 'why' I should consider myself safe. Perhaps this is a Social Justice issue. I'm too well known and possible assassins are too far out of reach - hard to say. Maybe I'm under surveillance and got a secret Guardian Angel.
I mean, the big Eagle could be Germany, the wings being its Social Security Network and its Secret Service/"Deep Military".
We don't know when this happens. It could be in the past, it could be now. 1 time could be the first shelter, 2 times the second one (I've been there longer) and the half time could be this. Although I lived here far longer than in the two others combined, I here don't have any food service. In the first shelter I was only for a short time but got food for free. In the second one the room was basically secured rather than being just a contemporary thing - and there was a kitchen I could get food from (for a low price). Here I have to take care of everything myself. So ... standard support, double support and half support. Maybe.
Verse 15 however is about "you folks" taking the air out of the Antichristian machine - and so they turned unto what was left.

SO we turn over to chapter 13 where we have this confusing situation between the two beasts. Some time ago I would have argued that the 666 could be I, ... which so meant that one had to twist the negative into a positive interpretation. This time around however ... "the Donald" could be this 'mortal wound' - and his behavior is what shocks us. We think: "What the F" and "What can we do?" - and we all have to kindof ... step back in awe and ... well.
The second beast again might be me - and in my ways would shock you so you turn towards the other.
Its kindof wonky, ... and ... eventually time will tell.

This could however all have been in the past. I mean, when speaking of the German Social Security Network - that started while I was still a sex worker. "Half a time". Then I became homeless ... where, however - Chapter 14. This is where things actually converge as the angels spread a new message across the globe. Everyone is now told - and yet it isn't entirely over as it says in verse 9, that 'worshiping the Animal and its image' is still a thing. So, the situation would be that the victory has been achieved, but that doesn't mean that the animal has been slaughtered. Its still around trying to do its thing.

In a sense I have to think about what I wrote just recently. Responding to Trump bombing Syria by ... poking at him. Showing him that I'm not scared. Maybe to your ... distaste. You maybe shake your head and think "why provoke him?". ...

this so in context of worshiping the Animal. As long as you so give it the power to do what it does - you are basically the first beast. While you're in this reign is given to you; Yet you submit power to the second beast which then carries out the hideous stuff. So, this ... thing ... that only those who wear the sign of the beast could buy or sell - I guess this now stands in contrast to the leniency derived from just earlier. What is it?
Maybe this is about the Matrix stuff - but - taken as without live evidence. Some would see through it, others would ... see through it and fall for it. But nah. I don't want to make this a definite thing. I mean, I don't feel confident here. I'm not really inspired either. Its just that ... I got guided into this and ... feel like I should dive into it a little.

Its not necessarily in order either. We can see it as a sequence of end-time events or a metaphor for a great many things.

As a sequence of events however, ... there then are the 7 plagues. Regarding Chapter 14:9 ... thats the real end-time. Where, ... ... we get to after the message is being spread.

And thats my take on these things for now.

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