Thats kindof how I feel. I write stuff - being possibly ignorant of a few things ... and sigh ... I get into a mode of ... worry. I have good intentions and if my words fail to accomplish what I desire I failed as a person. But, ... life ... is like a journey. Sometimes you travel on road ... and sometimes you walk through dirt. And sometimes its both.
And sometimes you wear pants and get the liquid poop.
So, meditating into immersion. ... thats something I feel isn't quite "there" yet ... .
Its strange. For the most part I'm not having any trouble at all. ... And my final 'peace' is that I can't probably please everyone. That however "removed the dagger" sticking in my back. But no my left hand is itching. Now its my cheeks. It ... ... [gruwaaaaaaar] ... whatever.
Was I too positive? Previously? ... ... I ... I'm stuck. Like, I won't be able to focus on anything else for the rest of the day. Or AAAAALL ETERNTY!!! ...
Did I jinx something? LOTR maybe? Is it now all ... poof ... worthless?
Well, I can't say that I'm feeling too well about the Show they announced!
... thats that. Well ... this Tolkien episode really ... messes with my head right now. I feel like ... I don't know who I am anymore.
I'm supposed to hate the Hobbit movies? At least the latter ones?
Well, I can see a bit of that!
Sorry, didn't watch part 2 entirely either. Sexism?
Well, I do have a very heterogenic attitude - (why is that not a word?) - and ... I think the 'outlines' as provided by Lindsay are ... fair and ... quite on point. I mean, ... for once its clear how the whole Patriarchy thing comes about and the issue with men having problems writing women ... well ... I mean, for once its obvious but on the other hand women must realize that they have a responsibility as well - I should say. Men that can't communicate with women or don't have a 'legitimate' partner - I guess that wasn't so much of an issue "back when" ... but it is now. We grow closer and closer together and yet we also grow further and further apart.
And Marvel now has a pregnant Superhero in action. You got to be kidding me! Like ... its nothing. ... Whats next PWNBA? PWNFL? PWNHL? Is there even a Womans Football league? Well, WNFL is a radio station ... .
Thats one thing. But there is a person that is known as Scarlett - professional Starcraft II player, ... and the looks in her eyes ...
... thats scary! (Thumbs up!) And ... its difficult for me to wrap my head around it; And not 'belittle' the female entry sotospeak. But thats part of what Competitive Gaming is about. Compete! You vs ... the rest of the world, basically. Its happening. Nobody asks her to be there, nobody asks her to not be there. She does she ... I think ... ...
The 'odd reality' there I think is that ... to a boy it comes naturally I think. But not all guys have "it" ... so the other side. You can be a guy all the way you want - unless you're a pro in that game, she's probably gonna mop the floor with you. I mean, thats what she did with Innovation there. Yea, same look on 'his' face!
On the other side the boys vs girls thing is also a thing that probably goes ... way back.
And so, ... being skeptical I think I've seen some lazy Micro on Scarletts end ... and thats where one might think: "OK, its a girl! (chuckles)" ... but in the meantime her Gas count stays at the bottom ... so, she won.
We can doubt it. We can call it fake. And if you don't make it to the top yourself you can blame Blizzard for cheating. Doubts, skepticism, ... but yea. How could someone possibly win or loose in such a game? (If you want you can get the replays and analyze them)
Why am I writing about this? There's nothing that'd stop them from intentionally loosing or so. I want to bash my own head against a desk for this - and thinking about me being unable to defend against it gets me to look up and think "Oh God!", hands to the head.
Maybe there is too much in the world going on right now. "Gender Wars". Paranoia everywhere. Nothing is real. ...
Anyway. It doesn't matter. Thats the world we live in. And you can see it on peoples faces ... that its kindof a great moment ... . While ordinarily we should see her as just another Starcraft II player ... its ... I mean, I guess what I see there on some peoples faces is a bit of shame mixed with pride. It comes from the attitude I described earlier. Being skeptical about the female entry ... going up against Innovation of all ... while also having that inner struggle to combat that skepticism. Trying to be as open-minded as if just 2 guys were playing. The result is a strange look. So, her success putting the inner skeptic to shame mixed with a bit of joy about ... having had that happen.
Whaat? This is Olympic now?
And yea, it isn't a physical sport. Not one where bone structure and muscles matter that much.
Its here, essentially, ... if we want to gender it ... the male drive vs the female insight. Or something like that. Its actually even so in the spirit of Starcraft. A.k.a.: Inherent imbalance.
There is the idea that that is bullshit. So, that the given imbalance is the reason for the Starcraft fascination. Figuring out who the better player is - based on a not given equality - would seem to be forever pointless. But, thats the best setup for things to keep going!
If you care to know more, maybe check out Day Daily #655.
... and I don't know how to wrap this up. So then ... ... peace!