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My Blog

Why I collect Porn

SidesteppingPosted by Nicole Thu, November 22, 2018 01:08:33
A question I've been asking myself recently. So - last weekend I had my last bit of dope - got settled to live sober until Rehab starts (next week, off from 27th to 25th) ... and yet the desired "creative flux" didn't come. Well, I've written some code high, starting again, and wrote it so that once sober I could finish all the more tedious stuff. Doesn't come. Instead I've spent the recent days sorting through all my Porn. I have 3.5 gigabytes of images (I do have more - but they are 'too secluded' "for now" ... "impact delay" [store for later]).

Impact Delay means that I do what I 'can' - and looking through/making sense of certain things that just don't fit I better leave aside. Its like in LoL or Smite - or any MOBA - where, you can't have it all at once. You have to start with one simple item - or more - however basic things to get you started.

And still I have gathered 9524 images so far. To that, I created one 'Extraction' folder where I dumped everything into. Well, but 'this time' not Ctrl.A-ing (Select Everything) them inside, but roughly skimming through them, screen by screen, to sort out at least those few "Annoying" ones that I wouldn't want to deal with. Then I wanted to sort through the Extraction folder, but when starting to move stuff around, things usually went downhill. So I copied all I had into a ROOT and a STEM folder. Well, copied into STEM and then moved them into ROOT. So, a plus for Windows: WHen I have new stuff and I copy them in - duplicate filenames are removed from the selection cue in Windows Explorer (10) - while in Linux one has to be a bit more creative. (Move all inside, deselect, ctrl.Z and only those moved back are selected. Then copy ... and on). So I have an Up-to-date Root Folder to check for whats in STEM. And along the way I also payed sacrifices to the 'things that get lost' demand - to not overburden myself.

So, other folders I ended up having next to ROOT and STEM are 'removed', 'ex', and a bunch of others ... like 'x'. Removed is for images I wanted to remove from the stream but still collect. So the others. I should probably name them by 'what' they remove. But 'ex' then also ended up collecting images I had not removed; But wouldn't really belong. Like things that are just funny or ... just don't belong.
Not better?

In STEM I did similarly. There's an 'Ugly', a 'Rest' an 'Excitation, a 'Decitation' and various thematic folders. So - Ugly is for those that I have and somehow want to keep but they don't really do anything for me. They 'feel' somehow ugly. The 'rest' is what ~would~ stay, but to not get confused has to get moved out of the way. Some of the thematic ones I use as explicit drop in folders; And others are more and others less a "Stay/Ugly" version of a give topic as well. So, I ended up moving a lot of Bondage images into Excitation rather than Bondage; While the 'Warrior' folder is a bit of an "early excuse" to get rid of all non-sexual stuff. Well, to however sort that which isn't really an 'Excitation', although that shouldn't really be a task since 'actually' they would contain their own excitations.

In the Excitation folder then I have 'dist'(orted), 'down', 'gif', 'STAY', 'SUPER' and 'x'. So, I go through the images on screen, move everything into all but SUPER until all the images remaining go there. So, this is just sorting out - and also a way of saying that one doesn't have to be 'too' cautious. If you're alright with "loosing" something to "down" or don't need in "STAY" or higher - whatever. 'x' is thereto something aside of it all. I end up having images that for sure went into Excitation but then, they don't really belong anywhere.

SUPER is then effectively the Level 3 of 'up-filtered' imagery, ... and right now I have 5623 in my STEM, 1686 in my Excitation and 627 in my SUPER folder. And my Pregnant folder is just 100 short to the 'Rest' folder. (I created a folder to be named like the folder I would skim through next (... "base of origin". Of course I had to take breaks!).

Now I assume that starting with all my Image Material - including my Non-Sexual collection maybe - everyone would have different stuff in their SUPER folder. And so there would be images - I suppose - that reflect me in my most intimate that others would pick as well. But it might not get to their Lv. 3 because they aren't really like that. So it might end up in Lv.2/STAY - or elsewhere. That idea however so spawned the idea of this visual representation of where we regard ourselves. (And my Ugly folder isn't all that Ugly! Here and there I think I have uglier ones in higher up folders; Where, taste is in the eye of the beholder I guess).

Well. In SUPER I then went on to make a copy, like with ROOT and STEM, and in 'upward_stash' (the other is 'upward copy') made 'Faces', 'Styles', 'Lv3', 'Lv4' and two "Level 3 Identifiers". 2 things that 'stand out' (or should) - but then had to be a little desperate about putting stuff in there. And here maybe the individual 'better be inspired'. Well. Lv3 is however the "new" Ugly folder. Everything that doesn't go in there, either goes up or not. If not - it is preferred in either of the two, or it is just 'style'. If it is more than just 'style' its a Face. THis is, as I think, here because 'SUPER' is already "pretty defined". Some uglies got to go out - and the rest then needs some 'definition' to create the Lv4 abstract. What goes up goes up - and now something silly. I feel again like making a copy. I might just move it, but being tempted to move stuff directly into Lv4 - ... I'm unsure ... .

Well. I want to do stuff with it now - but certainly still have things coming. Plus, I got all the other stuff that I might want to work with. So, my Pregnant folder has 300+something images - and instead of sorting them into categories and Levels I might just want to pick one for some other purpose. In other words do I have some image repository with 5000-something images yet unaccounted for. So I can have a Lv4 copy somewhere - I ... have a separate partition and thats handy in that usually copying is the default action here. Moving stuff within a partition just changes the files path - technically/theoretically - but moving stuff to another partition is to store it in a different physical volume - so, just changing the path won't work. So it would be copied there - and then deleted. "Move" is just an abstraction in that regard. So, when I now have new stuff going into Lv4, and I took files out of the copy, just copying the one to the other creates duplicates. Saying that I might move Lv4 to base and move files within upward_stash into a kept-empty Lv4 folder - though, before moving it from here to there I also copy it into the "mirror"guard"" folder.

So, Lv4 is renamed into Lv4_mirrored - and a new Lv4 folder is created. For all the other images - that go into "'Manifest'" - well. Something weird. I now have a 'transit' folder with 'Import' and 'Mirror' in it. So - I would copy stuff into 'Import' - and at some end of gathering then copy Import into Mirror - with those new ones then going into 'transit' itself. From there I would work with it - so, I clear 'transit' and move Import and Mirror up. And the Lv4 copy is now called ROOT.

What I now ended up doing, was that I wanted to just fill the import folder with something and took from the Level3-subtree a folder and basically ended up selecting my favorites therein. So, Manifest- ROOT and "Export" Are containing a "special selection" of items though Export contains those that haven't made it to ROOT. Another mechanism of relief. It would get complicated when downgrading things - so, as a rule of thumb, beyond SUPER there is no more downgrading.
But what now with Import/Export. Those images come in from all sorts of different locations - and mirroring the entire data-tree?
... file-tree.

So - for my own Filesystem 'method' - I think I called it 'Meta-FS' but for better distinction ... to be less "demanding" ... dont know. I had something on my tongue. "TXF" ... well, like the filename. Anyhow. Meta-FS is designed with partitioning in mind. So - folders can be associated to Frames - and Frames contain Filesystems. Here Meta-FS is complex in that technically it is just ... like a bootloader. A part of Meta-FS would be the ZERO partition which is the 'bootsequence' ... place. But anyhow. With the things thought of here I take it in that ... files can be mirrored 'if' they have a "safe spot". So, it is a way of removing "junk" from the filesystems by sorting certain things away.

So, now I took another folder into it and then mirrored it in. And now there's a context problem. So, I have 'Daisification' and 'RapeChamber' in my upward_stash. In both there's a picture of a Domina. And now they both pop out in the same folder; Which was technically something that "we tried" to prevent. But so is the nature of these things as well. What to do with images? You look at them once ... and then ... they get sorted away. And yea, eventually we can look at them again to be ashamed of/laugh about our past.

Now I went into my Lv3 folder to pick a few from there. And sure there are favorites again. So is there one image that works as a centrified statement, but so happens to be in Lv3. But right now I don't have a better one at hand to express it that way. Those that get close do so in a distorted way.
And then it also happens that on selecting certain images - or thinking about it - well, I'd compare it to Minesweeper. A whole lot of others want to come along. On one hand the images don't run away, on the other I worry that I could select duplicates. Well, silly me - I shouldn't worry that! The Mirroring takes care of that! And when done now - I end up having those yet unhandled in the Export folder. So, I should first clear that out before throwing in too much.

Now I created a Manifest/-- folder and moved a 'expr.Daisy' folder into it. That now is to resonate with what I meant earlier. It could at some point be called 'Feminization'. But it wasn't done yet. In this 'expression' folder I can now put images from a greater selection together - and technically take stuff from ROOT as well. Thats why I think inspiration matters as well. Or is it subconscious reveal?

So, that "by chance" there are those relevant images within those |lower tier| folders. ... [???@_$(*&#^riddled myself)]

Perhaps I should smoke some more pot. Yea, I got some today - well - received ... .

Anyhow - but what now of Lv4? I don't feel like taking things out!

So - I now moved all but 3 images into the expression folder. Oh, 4. Initially I thought 2. The other 2, ... I don't miss. One however although it quite puts a nail onto it - but probably too much, like ... when the Daisy is implied it just works better to a however more greater thing: The Doll.

Anyhow - by accidentally hitting ctrl.z and control.y while the browser was selected I deleted some image it seems and a folder wherein I stored xcf and its host folder. Luckily the xcf files somehow remained. Better than just the pngs I assume. Something like that shouldn't happen. And for such important stuff I would suppose something other than the default "click me away" pop-up.