[Irrelevant Nonsense, arguing with Phantoms]
Well, another pressing issue still on my mind ... so happens to be ... problematic ... I reckon. Some would be waiting for it - or maybe not, ... but there seem to be a lot of entanglements. Like, ... why is it so hard for people to see the simple and obvious? One answer would be: Because the simple and obvious to them isn't the simple and obvious to me. Or yours ain't mine and mine ain't yours. Theirs ain't yours as yours aren't theirs. And thats really ... essentially ... one of the simplest things to understand. You got to wonder about what your "Shadow Self" would tell you, had it been born or "fallen" into different circumstances. So, use your own arguments against yourself to see how unfounded yours might be.
What are the 'reasons' - for you to believe what you believe?
I don't mean to be rude, but certainly ... at times it just happens to be the way of how things are. Tolerance so happens to be a topic you could argue is one of the things I value, though equally you could take 'tolerance' as a thing that I despise. Depending on how you'd flip the coins. Like so: Should we tolerate roman catholics? Why can't we ask them to 'acknowledge' the truth standing? Why do we have to do those mental gymnastics to see why we should be tolerant while there isn't a reason at all why we had to; At all - except maybe in this "world without logic and reason".
Isn't it at all the problem that we can't fix our differences at points where we acknowledge each other in our falsely founded ideas?
We surely could go on like that - and eventually we had to in order to accommodate those that just don't want to see - but the fact yet stands that the truth holds the lens through which bigots stand revealed; And a bigot is a bigot - simple as that!
Are you one? Or, rather: Do you WANT to be one? If not - ask yourself: What is it that you 'do' to help yourself? Again I need to apologize; As ... simply put, I think some people are more complicated cases than others. As we have it - there wasn't ever really an easy way to realize. I often hear that the sole idea of 'knowing' the truth is ... a bigoted one. Like, who could claim to know it? Its a thing I also often hear uttered in spite. As though I had to be ashamed of myself for believing that I know better - where eventually I have to realize that I wouldn't be the first to claim that. And thats one of the reasons why I stopped working ... on things as though I knew and kept it to the bare minimum of what is safe to say. Or relatively safe to say.
So recently I had a conversation with someone, where I started to respond by saying that I have a hard time finding people to talk about the things that I'm really interested in. Why? Because ... it deals with religion. And so I would go on to explain how I noticed that people have different ways of access to the topic and how I might quote the Bible to Seventh Day Adventists and they yet wouldn't want to hear it. He responded speaking of protection. That people want to protect their beliefs - and I agreed. Thats what I meant in a way - as you also might find in my story on the front-page. And I so went on to say about myself that I used to be rather in the offense about protecting my beliefs. So, by carrying out what I had found to so find confirmation from others - but I'd usually hit a wall.
And why is that?
So, shortcutting the whole thing - whatever I might tell would only clutter this choke-point I think; At least that particular point is why the headline is the one it is. "Wickedness". Am I wicked for telling you that I only arrived at deaf ears? That I had little to no success with my mission? Is it? Wicked? Or is it just the way things are?
Its part of the "Psychotic Nonsense" thats cursing around on my mind - "voices" of people that would want to see a different story. One of success. One where I'd meet the right people, start a movement with great success to then have social backup through which I might move on and convince "even" those in Hollywood. Like its a video game. Starting simple with no less than a few friends - similar to Jesus - and making friends with those "High Tier" individuals at the end.
Saying that this ain't how it worked is like admitting defeat; Or often it feels that way; And whatever reason I'd have to argue in my own defense would be another way of "pointing out" how God didn't give me what I needed. "Wicked!"?
So, anyway. That conversation continued. That guy spoke a lot of how "interesting" he thought certain things were. Things I'd rather describe as serious problems or dilemmas. Differences. Well, in a positive way. Along the lines of diversity and how it allows us to grow beyond ourselves as opposed to getting stuck in an echo-chamber. And along those lines he noted that he couldn't possibly deem to be able to know the truth of these things. In response I said that I had that demand to myself. That of understanding things. And thats one of those points where I ... "stop trying"? No - it, at first, sounds like: "Well, I do ... know! (And I might prove it to you)". But so - what is real?
I think that some people would believe that I'd "rock the boat" there; That I might convince those doctors of my beliefs and that this would be the start. I would say, if you think that way, you're psychotic! You ... just don't get it!
You don't know how people tick. How they think, fare and how their multiple entanglements influence them. If you got nothing but resentment for me - yea, think again! Why should anyone near me be different? They know me in person? "All just an act!". Now what?
I've written about it multiple times. People are stuck in their ways, financial safety for instance being a concern - and I don't know how to get them, or anyone, to do my bidding. Possibly God closed their hearts - and that because ... those "High Tier" individuals - they are cowards were they to seriously believe in that shit! Once I had a lot of people believing in me - "then" they'd think its safe. Its trendy, its "cool", its "the thing to do" and then they think they can show their asses and be like "woo!". Thats how I get it. For what is so really the difference? Why am I not allowed to share my story with the world - and let everyone decide? Hmm ... because its more complicated than that?
But if "you" with enough money and safety can't utter enough confidence in the truth on your own - how you'd expect anyone else to do so? With people that have a lot more to loose!? People that maybe just have a few hours a day to think about anything other than their survival? How would I magically get to that critical mass of people that we might have something of an independent grounds away from such worries? Whose problem is it? Really? Prey, tell me!
And so "you" make it easier for yourself by saying: "It ain't mine!". For as long as "others" do the thing however, you're all fine with it! And you eventually get sucked into the lure of ambiguous success. People maybe that as anyone else was stuck in this world, seeing how "the world" was riddled with stories of wicked success; And not seeing a light figured they might as well take a piece of the cake. Think it impossible?
If you can't imply such into that success story but all sorts of idiotic nonsense into mine - prey, tell me - what are you doing right again?
And the coin keeps flipping. Now that you can't defend 'this' ground, you'd flip it around and be cynical about those pressing issues I had on mind which I thought to be problematic. And yea, that because if I started on that ground; To a point that you couldn't hold anymore, you'd just flip the coin and be on the end of things just recorded.
Or am I wrong?
So, prey, tell me - how do people tick?
Similar thing with the Matrix. The one moment its all bad because its obviously made that way; And the other moment its all bad because its just stuff randomly put together to so fit at certain points. THe latter, by the way, is how its 'meant' to work. How the synergies emerge and why the thing I do could be considered special; So, that I have a hand for hitting the marks - ... the former is just a ... well ... added bonus, ... hidden within. Which basically lends itself to the suggestion that the potential is in deed infinite!
But well. So, what I'd have ordinarily written about is ... "Hell" ... as I'd call it by now to so bolden the line between "normal" and "crazy". A battle you'd so have lost already should you still be concerned of arguing against me. Flip the coin, roll the dice, ... which side is yet not covered?
The one where you'd assume that I'm actually honest and legit? Oh, that could not possibly be an answer, right?
I've had an insight recently. It would suggest that in my life prior to the recent one, I was a girl. A daughter to something of a landlord who was more wicked than not; And I took issue in that and he'd see me for a threat and see me to be kidnapped and ... while at it ... being a bit more cruel than just that. Its of course nothing I could proof - but it might explain how I would have ended up more male and less interested in being female ... for a while. And its a relatively interesting contrast ... considering what I'm into. Did you notice that I really care about this? The similarities between good and bad and where the difference is?
Well, that story aside - it leads me to the same 'general reaction' than when considering myself mentally ill or otherwise when I have a more "normal" mindset relating to that. I isolate it ... putting it aside and seeing the difficulties within such pleasures. But so is there "Hell" ... as the most dark and perverted way that paradise could be. For me, still to be founded on Love. As, ... well.
Love ... the way I've experienced since unification is apart from how I experienced it before far more intimate because ones very mind is entered into the equation; Rather than just sticking to the bodies. How I so would feel someones spirit - well, is certainly dependent on what is on the other ones mind; In a way that I can fathom. And so I wouldn't like someone who's mind is filled with wicked evil, someone I'd normally despise - why would I stop there? Why should I devote myself to someone I'd fight to my dying breath?
It also happens to be a part of the choices you'll make. Good guy or bad guy? It isn't as simple as wanting it to be a certain way. Which believer does not "auto assume" that God guides his path; And how would we make it from there into a reasonable, mutual common sense foundation for the future? By ... not changing anything about it?