My Blog

My Blog

My world keeps getting larger

SidesteppingPosted by Nicole Thu, May 03, 2018 23:58:13
Political Correctness ... well. Lets ... uh, ... well. The thing is, Family Friendliness is a thing. Lets call it the 'sane average' thats generally 'supposed to be' suitable for ... almost all audiences. The older we get, the more distant we potentially grow from that - but as the distance from each other grows along with that, this middle ground remains.

Early on, all I had on my mind was myself, my story and a supposed bunch of people. I couldn't recognize that my view was rather narrow because I thought I was directing myself to everybody. Nonetheless were there those ... lets say 'phantom images' ... that stuck to my mind and generally "produced" my response ... level. So, that would since the start be Antichristians I suppose; Being vastly determined to address everybody but the issues that bothered me were mostly produced by "them" - or in other words, contra, complaints, issues with/to what I was thinking about. And that also first of all ... as I was a sex-worker ... regarding why I was there and stuff round about.

So eventually it to me was as though those issues were the only ones that mattered. Respectively I supposed that if I solved those, I'd be done. With ... whatever I'd have to be done with.

Eventually I was done with them - and as I got into them, ... uh. Well. Actually. First of all I had a thing to share - then there were issues and so on. I so responded, got 'done', and then again had things to share and so on. So, after the first Matrix thing, the same thing happened. I got out, had issues on my mind, responded to them - was done; And then went on with my stuff.

It wasn't until my first twitter round that I really felt an expanse in whom I was "talking" to. I mean, starting with me popping up on Capcom Forums I'd also think about folks that would come from there, or otherwise some might stumble upon my YouTube channel. I thought those might tune in or be tuned in - but that never had any impact. Maybe I had to ignore them, maybe there was nobody. The numbers suggest there was nobody.

With this expanse I finally looked at my Clarity stuff in a totally different way. Things I thought I had solved had to be written again; Eventually - and in case you wonder what I was thinking while I was writing ... certain things ...: I thought: Who would actually bother to read through all this?

I guess ... nobody.

Its not that important anyway - until you're really curious about in-depth insights about that stuff which shouldn't really come until you're actually dealing with it yourself. Its there however, done is done.

I also had this strange feeling that people were tuning in - but the moment I had something important to share things were going the other way.

Anyway, ... it would seem now that its a part of success. Or growing into the public, ... to have some kind of ... "audience appeal". I guess thats what makes some celebrities weirder than others. I mean, certain folks don't have this 'middle ground' audience to appeal to.

And I feel like thats a thing thats freaking some people out. Although one with ... I mean, we can look at the Matrix Reloaded. Even that, although made for the general public now gets a whole lot more attention and yea - so I feel like some were/are kindof comfortable being in their niche corners - ... [*caugh|krhrm*] ... yea ...

mmmm - ... well.

Just a few thoughts that crossed my mind ... . I kindof feel driven out of my own comfort zone (too?). But that after all is one of the strongest ... things ... that shows me where I belong. Basically. I mean, I don't have any company to take me back into my comfort zone; And what that kind of company were is ... something ... which is different to something else. ...

But yea, ... nothing else to say here I guess.